Wired magazine’s GeekDad blog recently posted
“100 Quotes Every Geek Should Know.”* While the list reads like the credits from
Free Enterprise – and there is a plethora of geek-gospel included (
“Five card stud, nothing wild. And the sky’s the limit.” makes me tear up just reading it.) – out of the 100 quotes chosen
only four were spoken by women (five if you count the Bene Gesserit litany against fear from
Dune, and six if you count
Battlestar Galactica’s “So say we all.”).
So, of course it’s my duty as the Ink-Stained Amazon to respond with a list of my own:
100 Quotes Every Geek Should Know – The Positively, Gratuitously, Lovingly Grrrl Geek EditionPost your favorite quotes, mantras, puns, and sass – spoken by women – that every geek should know in the comments!
1. “He likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise.” – Mrs. Emma Peel taking the piss out of new girl, Tara King, on
The Avengers2. “I never try anything. I just do it. And I don't beat clocks, just people! Wanna try me?” – Varla in
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!3. “Oh, you’re cute . . . like a velvet glove cast in iron.” – Billie in
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 4. “My name . . . is Pussy Galore.” – Pussy Galore in
Goldfinger5. “Get away from her, you Bitch!” – Lt. Ellen Ripley to the Alien Queen in
Aliens6. “Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?” – Princess Leia in
Star Wars IV: A New Hope7. “You’re terminated, fucker.” – Sarah Connor in
Terminator8. “Come with me if you want to live.” – Cameron in
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (or any number of people).
9. “I got my black belt in barstools!” – Foxy Brown in
Foxy Brown10. “Hailing frequencies open.” – Lt. Nyota Uhura in
Star Trek (and uttered by astronaut Dr. Mae Jemison, the first black woman in space, on her trip to the final frontier).
11. “I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death. ... No living man am I! You look upon a woman.” – Eowyn in
The Lord of the Rings12. “They were exaggerating totally.” – Sam Belmont in
Night of the Comet13. “C'mon Hector, the MAC-10 submachine gun was practically designed for housewives.” – Reggie Belmont in
Night of the Comet14. “And after the spanking, the oral sex.”– Dingo of Castle Anthrax in
Monty Python and the Holy Grail15. “If I were to kiss you . . . Would you think I was a Bad Girl?” – Catwoman on
Batman16. “Ridiculous. I said ‘Ridiculous.’ Nonsense. Foolish prattle. How can Batgirl be the best anything when Catwoman is around? No “Best Dressed” list is complete without the addition of the Queen of Criminals, the Princess of Plunder, yours untruly. And any comparison between Batgirl and myself – she runs a poor third.” – Catwoman on
Batman17. “I just want them to know that they didn't break me.” – Andie in
Pretty in Pink18. "I know I'm old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.” – Iona in
Pretty in Pink19. “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.” – Samantha in
Sixteen Candles20. “Break his heart and I’ll break your face.” – Watts in
Some Kind of Wonderful21. “I feel like I’m babysitting except I’m not getting paid.” – Stef Steinbrenner in
Goonies22. “Don’t fuck with the babysitter!” – Chris Parker in
Adventures in Babysitting23. “I invented Post-Its.” – Romy White in
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion24. “I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.” – Michele Weinberger in
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion25. “This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.” – Heather Mooney in
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion26. “It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that, I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.” – The Bride in
Kill Bill27. “You and I have unfinished business.” – The Bride in
Kill Bill 28. “Bitch, you don't have a future.” – The Bride in
Kill Bill29. “All right, but you're so damned ugly.” – Dr. Zira on kissing Taylor in
Planet of the Apes30. “Towanda!” – Evelyn Couch in
Fried Green Tomatoes31. “I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my love of violence.” - Turanga Leila of
Futurama32. “Nancy Drew says that all a person needs to solve a mystery is an inquisitive temperament and two good friends. And I've got an inquisitive temperament. Maybe I could help solve this.” – Lisa Simpson of
The Simpsons33. “I can see through time . . .” – Lisa Simpson of
The Simpsons34. “I AM the Lizard Queen!” – Lisa Simpson of
The Simpsons35. “Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.” – Elaine Benes of
Seinfeld36. “I just couldn’t decide if he was really sponge worthy.” – Elaine Benes of
Seinfeld37. “You fought her off... with a water pistol! I bloody love you!” – Donna Noble on
Doctor Who38. “Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” – Auntie Mame in
Mame39. “Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen, for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great — You have no power over me.” – Sarah in
Labyrinth 40. “If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.” – Scarlett O’Hara in
Gone With the Wind41. “Leapin’ Lizards!” – Little Orphan Annie in
Annie42. “Tell me of your homeworld, Usul.” – Chani in
Dune 43. "Big Damn Heroes, Sir." – Zoe Washburne on
Firefly44. “I may be dead, but I'm still pretty.” – Buffy Summers on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer45. “So here's the part where you make a choice. What if you could have that power, now? In every generation, one Slayer is born, because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman... is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the Scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power, can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?” – Buffy Summers on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer46. “I can’t believe you of all people are trying to Scully me.” – Buffy Summers on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer47. "There's no use arguing with me. Do you see my resolve face? You've seen it before. You know what it means.” – Willow Rosenberg on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer48. “I think I’m kinda gay.” – Willow Rosenberg on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer49. “Bored now.” – Vamp Willow Rosenberg on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer50. “Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.” – Faith on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 51. "Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes! They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses! And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for, anyway? Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be bunnies! – Anya on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer52. “Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow... I used to love Doggy Chow.” – Cristal Conners in
Showgirls53. “Thanks. I bought it at ‘Ver-sayce’.” – Nomi Malone in
Showgirls54. “Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!” – Holly Golightly in
Breakfast at Tiffany’s 55. “What was sundered and undone shall be whole - the two made one.” – Aughra in
The Dark Crystal56. “We’d better get back, ‘cause it’ll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly.” – Rebecca “Newt” Jordan in
Aliens57. “I’m never getting married. You want an absolute? A sure thing? Well, there it is. Veronica Mars, spinster...old maid. Carve it in stone. I mean, come on. What’s the point? Sure, there’s that initial primal drive...hormonal surge...whatever you want to call it. Ride it out. Better yet, ignore it......Sooner or later, the people you love betray you. And here’s where it ends up – fat men, cocktail waitresses, cheap motels on the wrong side of town. And a soon-to-be ex-spouse wanting a bigger piece of the settlement pie. That’s where I come in. Twenty-two dollars an hour is cheap compared to the long-term fiduciary security sordid photography can secure for you, your offspring......your next lover. But do us a favor. If it’s you in there. Dispense with the cuddling. This motel tryst? It is what it is. Make it quick. That person sitting in a car across the street might have a Calculus exam in five... make that four...hours, and she can’t leave until she gets the money shot.” – Veronica Mars in
Veronica Mars58. "I do not hate men, Sub-Mariner. I merely know I'm as good as they are.” – Valkyrie in
The Defenders59. "Look, I-I may not be an explorer, or-or an adventurer, or-or a treasure seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am...I...am a librarian..." – Evie in
The Mummy60. “My name is Sydney Bristow. Seven years ago I was recruited by a secret branch of the CIA called SD-6. I was sworn to secrecy, but I couldn't keep it from my fiancé". And when the head of SD-6 found out, he had him killed. That's when I learned the truth: SD-6 is not part of the CIA. I've been working for the very people I thought I was fighting against. So, I went to the only place that could help me take them down. Now I'm a double agent for the CIA, where my handler is a man named Michael Vaughn. Only one other person knows the truth about what I do, another double agent inside SD-6. Someone I hardly know - my father.” – Sydney Bristow on
Alias61. “With this money I can get away from you. From you and your chickens and your pies and your kitchens and everything that smells of grease. I can get away from this shack with its cheap furniture. And this town and its dollar days, and its women that wear uniforms and its men that wear overalls.” – Veda Pierce in
Mildred Pierce62. “I saw amazing things, out there in space--but there is strangeness to be found, wherever you turn. Life on Earth can be an adventure too... you just need to know where to look!” – Sarah Jane Smith in
The Sarah Jane Adventures63. “You’re under arrest, Sugah!” – Christie Love in
Get Christie Love64. “You’re a warrior princess and I’m an Amazon Princess. That is going to make such a great story!” – Gabrielle in
Xena, Warrior Princess65. “Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.” – Storm in
The X-Men66. “You've always been crazy, this is just the first chance you've had to express yourself.” – Louise in
Thelma and Louise67. “Do you wanna live forever?”- Valeria in
Conan the Barbarian68. “I know my future. You have none.” – Red Sonja in
Red Sonja69. “You want to spit on me and make me crawl? I'm gonna piss on your grave tomorrow.” – Flower Child Coffin in
Coffy70. “I
am the edge.” – Aeon Flux in
Aeon Flux71.“Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there’s a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride.” – Aunt May in
Spider-Man 272. “Oh, no, baby. No, you’re not gonna die. They are. . . . Cover your ears. Hey! Should we get a dog?” Charly Baltimore of
The Long Kiss Goodnight73. “You... you’ve got me? Who’s got you?” – Lois Lane in
Superman the Movie74. “Oh, I've seen how the other half lives. My sister, for instance. . . three kids, two cats, one mortgage....I'd go bananas after a week.” – Lois Lane in
Superman the Movie75. “Do you like pink?” – Lois Lane in
Superman the Movie 76. “Anytime something like that happens, a wizard did it.” – Lucy Lawless as herself on
The Simpsons77. “Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X-Files Project, sir?” – Special Agent Dana Scully on
The X-Files78. “Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi.” Liz Lemon in
30 Rock79. “Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.” – Liz Lemon in
30 Rock80. “I want to go to there.” – Liz Lemon in
30 Rock81. “That’s a dealbreaker, Ladies!” – Liz Lemon in
30 Rock82. "What kind of a lunatic would rather be Cleopatra than Eleanor Roosevelt? – Leslie Knope in
Parks and Recreation83. “Do you think that marrying penguins made some kind of statement?” – Leslie Knope in
Parks and Recreation84. “Pawnee's library department is the most diabolical ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen. They're like a biker gang. But instead of shotguns and crystal meth, they use political savvy... and shushing.” – Leslie Knope in
Parks and Recreation85. “Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.” Leslie Knope in
Parks and Recreation86. “I'm a feminist, OK? I would never ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality. But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for just to put a smile on your perverted little face.” – Leslie Knope in
Parks and Recreation87. “Yeah? I'll tell you what. Until I get back my five thousand dollars, you're gonna get more than you bargained for. I’m your goddamn partner.” – Marion Ravenwood in
Raiders of the Lost Ark88. "Well, if some people get upset because they feel they have a hold on some things, I'm merely acting as a gentle reminder: here today, gone tomorrow, so don't get attached to things." – Maude in
Harold and Maude89.“Lady Justice wept today.” – Sue Sylvester of
Glee90.“I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat; and then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face.” – Sue Sylvester of
Glee91.“When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into the musical as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious!” – Sue Sylvester of
Glee92.“That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.” – Sue Sylvester of
Glee93.“You know the law: Two men enter, one man leaves.” – Auntie Entity in
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome94.“Well, ain’t we a pair, raggedy man.” – Auntie Entity in
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome95.“This whole world’s wild at heart and weird on top.” – Lula in
Wild at Heart96.“My name is Peggy Olsen, and I want to smoke some marijuana.” – Peggy Olsen in
Mad Men 97.“My name isn’t pretty-pretty, it’s Barbarella.” – Barbarella in
Barbarella98.“De-crucify the angel! De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!” - Barbarella in
Barbarella99.“I think my feelings would best be expressed by a monologue from . . .” – Mary Katherine Gallagher from
SNL and
Superstar100. “Donna Martin graduates!” – The Students of West Beverly High School, Class of ’93 on
90210*Found by way of
SciFi Wire.Labels: action heroines, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, geek gospel, geek quotes, grrrl geeks, Leslie Knope, Liz Lemon, Superwomen, Sydney Bristow, Wired
